


Hell of a Legacy

by ashandcas (ashriddle4)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x16, 10x16 coda, First Time, Imagined sex, Kind of happy ending, M/M, Smut, bottom!Dean, dean just really loves cas okay, dean winchester is a romantic, mentions of sex in a church, things people feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:45:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3620358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashriddle4/pseuds/ashandcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean thinks about the different ways he wants to experience "things, people and feelings". (10x16 coda)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hell of a Legacy

Dean Winchester doesn’t want to die. He is not ready. Not yet. Not without knowing how it feels to have Cas inside him.

If Cas were in the church right now, Dean would take off his own clothes _belt, tie, shirt, pants, socks, shoes_ andhe’d lie naked on the third pew to the left s _un streams in through the stained glass there._ Dean Winchester would spread his legs and say,

_Make love to me, Cas._

At least, Dean dreams of that brand of bravery.

He doesn’t want to let Cas _fuck_ him. Dean wants tear down the veil that separates their souls, ignite it with kisses and come and holy oil – with salt and old motel matches, celestial grace against mortal skin. He desires ( _deep in a dusty part of himself he allows to desire_ ) to gift Cas with a piece of himself he’ll never give anyone else.

Maybe Cas’s constant absence is a blessing in disguise. A hidden blessing that they don’t have the time to fall into bed together. Dean is dying, condemned by a burning, ravenous, creeping plague. Diagnosis: terminal. Every day he lives feels like a day stolen. And to taste Cas’s love – to skim his fingers over its surface for even a moment – the pain of losing it once he’s known it would be unbearable, even in the dark abyss he will surely meet when he passes from this world.

Dean does wonder, however, in certain moments, what it would be like to feel Cas’s uncut cock _it’s uncut. He saw it briefly once. On the Impala covered in bees_ pressing at his entrance.

_Relax, Dean_

_I love you._

_Love, love, love you._

Cas would say as he slid slickly all the way in. Dean would ball like a fucking baby. Not because it hurt, but because after all these years, it would be as finally coming home.

Chapped lips would kiss away Dean’s tears. Cas would thrust – gentle and deep. No else would ever have to know how Dean whimpered and purred with each fluid motion.

 _Wanted this for so long, Dean_. _Wanted you._

_Me too, Cas. Me too._

It is a dirty thought that doesn’t feel dirty – how much Dean wants Cas to come inside him. Cas wouldn’t need a condom because he is an angel and Dean is clean and neither will ever be with another again _if he ever so much as kissed Cas anyone else’s lips would taste like vinegar and ashes._ So Cas would fill Dean with his come, and Dean would love feeling the warmth as it slowly leaked out of him.

It is a strange revelation, when Dean has it, that what made him cool at twenty-five makes him pathetic at thirty-five. That the face in the mirror is a jigsaw puzzle of pain and duty and John Winchester. Not his own man at all.

Because Dean Winchester no longer wants to go down swinging. He wants to grow old with Cas. To watch grey sprout in nut-brown hair, smile lines deepen around sky-blue eyes. He wants age to grant Cas too-big knuckles so his mom’s ring can’t slip from his left hand. And when Dean grows old and dies, he wants Sam Winchester to his right and Cas Winchester to his left.

His tombstone will not read.

_Dean Winchester_

_Righteous man, apocalypse-ender, hunter, man of letter, savior of so many, slayer of demons._

It will simply read.

_Dean Winchester_

_Loving brother, Loving husband._

Now that’s a hell of a legacy.


End file.
